Hello humans, identity is something that can be confusing and scary. There's a lot of different types of identity, sexual, romantic, and social(how you want to  be perceived by those around you). Personally, finding my indenties has been scary, especially when it comes to sexual and romantic identity. In a society where the "norm" is heterosexual and hetero-romantic being anything other than that can call for unwanted attention, and criticism. My own sexual and romantic identity is something I've thought about in great detail for a long time.

It started to become something that was constantly on my mind during the second half of 8th grade. I was 14 going on 15 and had just been accepted into San Domenico, a private all girls school. Middle schoolers are cruel, especially when you were going to attend a "lesbian school". Now, don't start thinking I was bullied because I wasn't. The other kids at my school were all going to other private high schools(Branson, Marin Academy, Marin Catholic, The Bay School), all of which were co-ed. My classmates had always said the all girls school was, "for lesbians" and that if I went there I would "turn into a lesbian". This whole mentality caused me to put a lot of pressure on myself. I liked boys, I had had crushes on them since before I could remember. But, what was going to happen once I started all girls school? Why did the idea of liking girls scare me so much? I loved girls, I had always been more comfortable around girls than I was boys. Was there something wrong with that? Was there something wrong with me? No, there wasn't but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was. My best friends up until recently had all been straight, straight with no wiggle room This and my inability to healthily talk about my feelings made it basically impossible for me to even being to talk about what was going on inside my head. This cycle of internalizing and fearing my own identity continued until a few months ago.

I reached out to one of my close friends because she was someone I felt I could really trust with the issue of sexuality, someone who understands what I was feeling. After some days of exchanging messages and a lot of deep thinking I came to my conclusion. I am bi-romantic, meaning I have romantic feelings for both girls and boys. Sexuality is something that I will tackle personally when I feel ready. But for now I know who I am. And I'm happy and proud.